A Suite Parody of Zack and Cody Fanfiction
by tiger002
Summary: There are some plots that are hailed for their creativity. This won't be one of them, instead let's carefully examine some of the overused plot lines and see how they really work.
1. Chapter 1: The Deepest Desire

Tiger: Welcome ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, children of all ages, and any other people/creatures I may have forgotten. After going through a number of stories on the site, I've decided to try my hand at some of the more overused topics to see if I could add my own twist to them.

Mary-Sue: And I'm here to help him!

Tiger: Who are you?

Mary-Sue: I'm your muse silly.

Tiger: So you're the one who gives me those ideas of fun ways to painfully murder Cody, such as having him slowly dipped into a caldron of steaming hot lava by Max Russo.

Mary-Sue: No, that's just your evil mind coming up with ideas when you talk to WJ.

Tiger: So what should this chapter be about then?

Mary-Sue: Well you know who my favorite characters from the show are?

Tiger: Considering you're my muse, probably Zack and Cody.

Mary-Sue: Yep, and they're so hot too. I mean they just ooze sexiness, especially Cody; I could just eat him up

Tiger: If you say so…

Mary-Sue: Oh, I do, now let's write a hot romance about the two.

Tiger: That's wrong on so many levels! They're twins!

Mary-Sue: Yes, very hot sexy twins. Now write before I plague your mind with all sorts of romance ideas that will drive away your adventure ideas.

Tiger: Fine, but I should probably warn the reader, that while this is told in a way to make fun of these stories, this is a twincest chapter, so if they don't like it, to just wait for the next chapter.

**Chapter 1: The deepest desire**

It had been a long day of school for Zack Martin. He had just failed his math test causing all the other students to laugh at him. "Wow Zack, how do you manage to get a negative 12 percent?" Bailey mocked.

"Sheesh, even I passed this test," London said, not realizing a 22% was not passing, but since the story doesn't focus on her, no one cared.

Cody couldn't take it anymore. If there was one thing he hated more than people who didn't recycle, it was people who picked on his brother like that "Shut up everyone!" he yelled. Everyone started at him. "Don't make fun of Zack just because he did badly on one test. Everyone has a bad day, right Zack?"

Zack stared up at his brother teary eyed. Never before had he heard someone stand up for him like that. It didn't surprise him that Cody was the one who would do it though. He was always there for Zack; after all, they were twins and best friends. "Thanks Cody," he said softly.

"Anytime Zack," his other half replied with a smile.

Even though they were twins, that didn't stop Zack from harboring a deep lustful desire for his brother. He knew it was wrong and that Cody would probably never want to see him again if his secret got out. That's why he tried dating as many girls as possible. He had hoped that just one would be able to fill the void that he knew only Cody could. He thought that if he dated enough girls, maybe the gay part of him would go away. So far, it hadn't worked, but he knew that was his only hope.

"So Zack, you just going to sit in class even after it's over?" Cody asked snapping Zack out of his thoughts.

The older twin glanced around, shocked to see that he was the only one left in his seat. Cody was standing in the doorway waiting for his brother somewhat impatiently.

"Oh sorry," Zack said shoving his books in his bag before running to catch up to his brother.

"Want me to help you study tonight so you will do better on the next test?"

"Yeah, that would awesome," Zack said joyfully, although he was mainly glad to be spending time with Cody and it had little to do with him wanting to do better in school.

**Later that night…**

"Thanks a lot Codes," Zack said as entered his brother's room, shocked to see Cody sitting at his desk with three different calculators and math books.

"You know I can't just let you fail out of school here. This place wouldn't be half as fun without you," Cody said with a laugh.

"Really, I thought you hated getting involved in my plans."

"Well, sometimes, but they can be a lot of fun too. Now let's get to studying before you fall asleep."

After about an hour of Cody explaining the quadric formula, writing equations with point-slope form and that pi and pie were two different things, Zack thought his brain was about to explode. He felt like he was starting to understand algebra, but all the information was overwhelming. He wondered how Cody could so easily understand it all.

"Can we take a break Codes, my brain is killing me."

"Yeah, sure. It can be a bit overwhelming, but I'm sure you'll get it soon."

After setting his book down, Zack's eyes locked with Cody's. Those perfect blue-green orbs staring back at him made Zack forget all about the torment of doing math for an hour straight.

Cody noticed his brother staring at him and was beginning to get nervous. "Zack are you-"

Zack cut him off by slamming their lips together. "Dude, that was on the lips!" Cody exclaimed as the older twin pulled away.

Zack couldn't believe what he just did; he kissed his brother, on the lips. "Man, I'm sorry I just…" He tried to think of a good explanation but the truth was the only one that made sense.

"Don't worry about it, that was kind of nice," Cody responded calmly, his initial shock calming, and of course, he felt the same way as his brother, since it wouldn't make sense for only one to like the other in a story like this.

"Wait, you mean-"

Cody was the one to silence his brother this time by locking their lips together.

Zack was enjoying the kiss, but wanted more. He pulled away though, fearing that if his brother didn't share his secret, his life would be ruined if he tried to go further.

"Cody, what was that for?" he asked with both fear and hope filling his voice.

"I just wanted to, y'know? When I'm with Bailey I don't feel anything when I kiss her, but when I did with you, it felt good."

Zack's heart began beating faster, his hormones driving out any logical thought processes. "Cody, I feel the same way. Those kisses with you were amazing. I think I love you." There, he said it; everything was on the line now.

"Yeah, I know how you feel," Cody responded trying to think logically about this, "But I don't think it's love."

"What is it then?"

"It feels more like an author is controlling our actions, most likely a teenage girl who wants to visualize us having hot passionate sex. Everything up to this point has just been buildup to that moment to try and make it believable."

"Wow, Cody, you're so smart," Zack said gently stroking his brother's cheek. His crush was turning into a full on lustful desire that could only be satisfied one way. He latched onto Cody and pulled his shirt off over his head.

Suddenly, a high-pitched scream filled the air. "What was that?" Zack asked.

"It sounds like the author from behind the fourth wall is getting excited for us to be doing this," Cody responded as began going to work on removing Zack's clothes.

However, they both realized that doing this on Cody's desk would be a bad idea, so they moved to Cody's bed. Then they-

**Scene transition!!!**

Mary Sue: You can't just stop writing in the middle of a scene like that! It was just getting good!

Tiger: I have no desire to write a hot passionate sex scene between two twins.

Mary Sue: Just go find some of those others to help give you inspiration, then come and make this a super awesome story of hotness!

Tiger: Those stories disturb me, and I'm the writer so let's check in on Kirby and Bailey instead.

"Kirby, are you sure it's a good idea to eat 20 pounds of ice cream before your shift?" Bailey asked, genuinely concerned for the security guard.

"Well, I don't want to eat too much or I won't be able to chase down any criminals if they try running. This way I'll have just enough of a sugar rush to be full of energy, but not so much that it'll slow me down."

Bailey wanted to show Kirby that eating so much was a bad idea no matter what the situation was, but she then realized she was supposed to meet Cody in five minuets to work on their history project. "Well good luck Kirby," she said briskly walking away.

**Back to Zack and Cody…**

Mary Sue: Aw, we missed the good part.

Tiger: What a shame…

A knock on the door startled the twins having, just begun to put their clothes back on. "Cody, are you in there?" Bailey asked.

"Zack, get your clothes back on," Cody whispered, not wanting to alert his girl friend to the fact that he just cheated on her with his own brother. "I'll be right there Bailey." He was really thankful that the doors on the ship locked automatically, otherwise he could have had a lot of explaining to do.

"Cody, where did my boxers go?" Zack whispered as he searched franticly.

"I don't know, just put your pants on and worry about them later." Once the twins were fully dressed, Cody let Bailey into the room.

"What took you so long?" she asked.

"Oh, I just wanted to make sure my room was perfect for my perfect little hay-bail."

"Then why are your boxers stuck in the ceiling?" she asked pointing upward.

Mary Sue: Well, now that the exciting part is over, let's end this.

Tiger: So you don't want to examine how this incident will affect the twin's lives?

Mary Sue: Of course not, who reads hot twincest stories for the plot?

Tiger: Good point.


	2. Chapter 2: A Suite SelfInsert

Tiger: And we're back again.

Mary-Sue: Yup, and I think I've gotten over my desire to picture the twins having sex with each other.

Tiger: That's a relief.

Mary-Sue: Now I want to marry them, specifically Cody.

Tiger: Um…

Mary-Sue: And I've even come with an idea of how I could get it to work. All I have to do is break onto the set when they are filming, kidnap Cole with some rope and duct tape, take him to Vegas and then we can get married and live happily ever after.

Tiger: I think there are a few flaws in their plan.

Mary-Sue: Oh, like what?

Tiger: Let's see, it's illegal, you can't force someone to marry you, and I'm pretty sure a certain Belgian would fight you for him. In addition, they are only filming nine more episodes, so you don't have much time.

Mary-Sue: In that case, I shall go for the next best thing! Writing my self into one of these stories.

Tiger: I don't have much of a choice do I?

Mary-Sue: Let's just say I'll keep distracting you so you never can write an epic battle again.

Tiger: Wow, you're evil… Okay, time for a self-insert then!

* * *

**Chapter 2: A Suite Self-Insert**

The sun was singing, the birds were shining, and the author should probably read through this chapter again before posting, but no one cares about the scenery, just the rabid fan girls falling in love with the guys of their dreams. Because of this, we go to the sky deck where we find Zack, Cody, and those other unimportant people standing around the smoothie bar. All seems normal on the ship.

However! Things are far from normal on this beautiful day, as we see a beautiful young lady stroll across the deck. The gentle wind blows her emerald blue hair gently as her piercing red eyes sparkle in the sunlight. As the twins turned to see her, Zack forgot about the smoothie he had in his hand and accidentally poured it on his customer. Captivated in this stranger's indescribable beauty, he didn't even hear the lecture a smoothie covered Moseby was giving him.

"Hi guys, I'm a new student here named Mary-Sue; what's up?" she said sitting down beside them. She was adorned in a glories golden sundress that perfectly accented her curves. Her skin was perfect, not a blemish on her face. Every guy on the deck couldn't help but turning to take in the sight before them.

"Wow, you're hot!" Zack proclaimed, echoing the thoughts of every straight guy on the deck.

"Come on, I'm not that good looking."

And for those keeping score, Mary-Sue has just reached the level of eye rolling and we're not even done with the first page.

"Don't be so modest," Cody said, gently stroking her silky smooth hair, "You should be proud of all your beauty."

"Excuse me!" Bailey said loudly from behind Cody aghast that her boy friend would dare pay a compliment to another girl.

"Oh sorry Bailey," he said turning to give his girlfriend a light peck on the cheek.

"Just remember that I am the one you are dating," she said accepting her boyfriend's kiss. Mary couldn't believe how stuck up and jealous some people could be but she figured some people were just insecure petty creatures that couldn't hold on to a boyfriend for long. She couldn't just sit back and say nothing when someone would mistreat such a great guy she had only known for seven seconds.

"You know, there if there is one thing I hate, it's people like you. Those who think they are better than any one else, but deep down are so insecure that if anything goes wrong they will fall apart," Mary-Sue said as her piercing gaze dug into Bailey's soul seeing the pain contorting in her heart. "Just don't talk to me." She ran off to her room with Cody following her.

"Dude, you just got owned," Zack said to Bailey who responded by shoving a banana up his nose.

As Cody walked through the hallway of the girls' rooms, he heard a faint soothing sound. After pausing for a second, he realized it had to be music. Upon following it, he found Mary's room and began gently knocking on the door.

"Come in," she said and he entered the room and saw her sitting on the bed playing a guitar. He recognized the song as Thriving Ivory's '_Where We Belong'_

_See I have to believe that there's more than this seems  
More than a soul in a boat in a sea of sinking dreams  
And I have to be sure that there's gonna be a cure  
For somewhere down the line I lost the part of me that's pure '_

He had to stop and admire her brilliant singing voice. It was as if he was listening to an angelic choir. He couldn't help himself as he joined her in the chorus

_But don't you let go yet no it's not too late you know  
Hold on we're gonna make it if takes all night  
Hearts racing like a rocket at the speed of light  
Don't fight it we've been running for far too long  
We're going back to where we belong  
Hold on we got our wings and we're chasing the wind  
Farewell to all the places that we have been And if it takes us all night long We're going back where we belong  
(_**A/n: This is actually my most favorite song ever.**

**Tiger: Mary-Sue, Stop interrupting the story to tell how awesome this song is.)**

"Wow, that was great," Cody said as he sat on the bed with her. As he sat down though, he noticed tears flowing down her cheeks. "What's wrong?"

"My dad taught me how to play guitar." She paused for a second before continuing, "Before he died. That was the last song he taught me before the cancer became too bad for him to play it anymore."

"I'm so sorry Mary," he said as he engulfed her in a gentle hug not realizing that her story couldn't be true since the song had only been out for a few weeks, but that's a small detail that author powers can fix.

"It's okay, at least I have something to remember him by," she said with a faint smile.

"You're going to be okay then?" he said getting up since he remembered he had homework to do.

"Yeah, thanks for stopping by."

**The next day in class**

"So did you do the homework for AP history?" Cody asked Bailey as they waited for the teacher to get into the room.

"Yeah, I can't believe we had to do over 300 definitions for one homework assignment, but at least I got them done," she answered

"What was the assignment?" Mary-Sue asked. She had slipped into the room without them noticing her.

"Well to prepare us for the class, Dr. Smarticle had us write the definition and significance for every vocab term for the year," Cody answered.

"Ouch, that's harsh."

"Yeah, it made half the people drop the class, I think he was just trying to scare the students."

"Welcome to class!" Dr. Smarticle said as he entered the room, which silenced the chattering students. "Today we will be discussing Pearl Harbor."

"Oh you mean when Japan randomly murdered all those innocent people with the surprise attack on the Hawaiian navel base," Bailey said, not wanting to let Mary get another chance to out stage her.

"Well, the attack might not have been as random as you'd think," Mary added, "After all there is a lot of evidence that president FDR actually new about the attack in advance and forced Japan to do it through the economic sanctions, along with the fact that he had wanted aid the Allied Powers in Europe, but knew he couldn't get the support form the isolationist country, but if America was attacked, the country would retaliate right away."

The whole class was in awe of her explanation. All except for Bailey that was, especially after Cody commented on her theory. "I'd never thought of it quite like that, but it makes sense," the younger twin said.

"Indeed, I hope you will get a lot out of this class," the professor said, genuinely impressed with the new student. He then went on to teach the class about the various things leading up to the attack to which the class took attentive notes knowing that a test was coming up at the end of the week and so far each test had caused at least five mental breakdowns.

After the class was over, the students left. Mary-Sue caught up to Cody as he was walking down the hall. "Hey, would you be able to help me study for the big history test."

"Oh sure, you want to meet with me in my room about eight?"

"Sure!"

**Cody's room, 8:02 pm, that night**

Mary-Sue: And here is the good part

Tiger: Yep, the epic action scene!

Mary-Sue: Oh, action in Cody's bedroom, I like the way you think

Tiger: Wait, no, not that type of action. This is an epic action battle to the death!

Mary-Sue: You can't put that in a romance though!

Tiger: Watch me.

"So, that's all the programs we have to we have to memorize for the New Deal test," Cody explained.

"Wow, this seems like so much to study."

"I'm sure you are smart enough to understand it all," the hot twin complimented her causing her to blush.

"Yeah, but I'm not nearly as smart as you and Bailey."

"Don't underestimate yourself," he said sweetly. "I've never met a girl that has such a brilliant combination of beauty and intellect.

"Excuse me!" Bailey said standing in the doorway. "What about me?"

"Well, I mean, um…" Cody stammered thinking of a way to avoid his girlfriend's wrath.

"What he means is that he's tired of your controlling personality that makes it so he can't even compliment another girl without you ripping his head off. Right Cody?"

"Wait, you mean you've taken this little tramp over me, I'm sure she goes after people like you just to ruin relationships like ours."

"Well Cody what's it going to be?"

"Yeah Cody, who are you going to choose?"

Cody took a second to think before he said anything. He had loved Bailey for so long, and they had been dating for months. However, the feelings he had for Mary were unlike anything he had for Bailey; she had stolen his heart instantly. He didn't know how his heart worked, but he knew he was falling for Mary-Sue. "I don't know…"

Bailey couldn't believe it; this tramp had already gotten to him. She was completely shocked that her Cody would fall for her schemes so quickly. There was only one way to save him. "Mary, could I talk to you for a second?" she asking, hiding her schemes beneath a layer of innocence.

"Sure, what is it?"

"Never come near my boyfriend again!" the farm-girl yelled, giving Mary-Sue a powerful right hook sending her reeling to the ground.

"If that's the way you want it," Mary-Sue said getting back to her feet. Blood was running down her lip, but Cody still found her irresistible, even more so than before. "I'll have you know I'm a black belt in karate after training non stop for a week straight."

"That normally takes years though," Bailey said.

"Not for a prodigy like me," Mary-Sue said with a smile as she charged at the farm girl, jumping at her and sending her into the wall with a powerful kick. The perfect character followed up her attack, with a punch but Bailey dodged it and then elbowed Mary in the stomach, before slamming her into the closet door, which broke under the weight.

Mary wouldn't let Bailey win that easily though. Bruised and battered, she came out swinging again, attacking Bailey with a fury of punches that sent the farm girl to the ground. Bailey got up but didn't have much time to rest.

Completely free form hesitation, Mary continued unleashing her fury on the fiend that forced them all to suffer so much. She ran at Bailey, slugging her across the face with her left fist and followed it up with a punch into her stomach. While Bailey was still reeling from those attacks, Mary slammed her elbow up into her foe's gut, lifting the farm girl slightly into the air. She finished her attack by jumping back and slamming her right foot into the Bailey's chest, sending her back into the window.

The impact was so great that the glass shattered sending Bailey reeling back. She tried to maintain her balance, but after all those attacks, she couldn't help but to fall back into the ocean below.

"Are you okay Mary?" Cody asked running to her. It was then he knew what he wanted. Mary-Sue was his true love and he was foolish to think it was Bailey.

**The next day**

The group was gathered around the smoothie bar again. "Wow, Cody I can't believe you scored a hot babe like that."

"Jealous?" Cody asked knowing his brother too well.

"I'd be lying if I said no," Zack said admiring the eye candy in his brother's lap.

"Mary!" a guy said running over to the group, "I've hardly seen you on the ship since we got on it."

"Who is this?" Cody asked feeling slightly protective of his new girlfriend.

"Don't worry sweetie, this is my brother Gary-Stu."

Instantly Gary's eyes fell upon the teen preparing the smoothies. "What's you're name?" he asked seductively.

"Zack, please to meet you."

"Want to go out?" Gary asked directly.

"Well, I haven't had much luck with the ladies recently, so why not?" Zack said. The two of them began passionately making out.

"I think my brother has the right idea," Cody said as he turned Mary around so they were face to face. They too began passionately making out.

* * *

Mary-Sue: And they all lived happily ever after!

Tiger: Well except for Bailey that is.

Mary-Sue: Yeah, but since Cody has me, why would he need her anymore.

Tiger: I can't argue that logic, since there isn't any logic there.

Mary-Sue: Anyway, please review people; I need more ideas to torment Tiger with.

Tiger: Help me…


	3. Chapter 3: Action in the Bedroom, take 2

**Tiger: Well it seems like this parody is quite the hit with all these awesome people reading and reviewing.**

**Gary-Stu: I agree, but I think you could do better.**

**Tiger: How so?"**

**Gary-Stu: Well you've catered to all the girls out there with a hot twincest scene and having her swept away by her prince charming, but what about the guys out there. I know there aren't many of us out there, but you can't just ignore your fellow male fan fiction readers.**

**Tiger: I've included some action in the last chapter.**

**Gary-Stu: Oh, and that action was great, but how about we turn it into a different kind of action. *Whispers in Tiger's ear***

**Tiger: Mary is your sister though! **

**Gary-Stu: Your point? We all know that any normal moral boundaries constructed on romance are thrown out the window once we enter fan fiction. Just look at all those Jalex stories in the WoWP fandom.**

**Tiger: I'd rather not, let's just get on with the story.**

**Action in the bedroom, take two**

Cody sat on his bed in awe of the sight before him. He couldn't believe a simple night of studying with his new friend could turn into a night like this. Mary-Sue was supposed to come over and study with him for the big test coming up, but he would have never guessed it would turn into wrestle-mania.

Bailey had just been slammed into the wall, but kicked Mary of her when she tried putting the farm girl in a headlock.

"You really think you can beat me," Mary said before knocking Bailey to the ground with a right hook. She then pounced up top of her. "You're mine."

Looking up into those eyes above her, Bailey could see how Cody would be captivated with her beauty. She was physically unable to resist, but once there eyes locked, she was emotionally unable to get away either. All her desires to win Cody faded away and instead her heart found a new target for her passion. The farm girl let her emotions run wild as she slammed her lips into the other girl's.

Mary was surprised to say the least at something like this. However she should have known that she would attract admirers from both genders. She was quite enjoying the kiss though and decided to just go with it. Releasing the restraint she on Bailey's arms, she embraced the other girl, running her hands through her hair.

Cody was shocked by the turn of events as the girls began passionately making out. He was quite enjoying seeing two girls love him enough to battle over him, but this was something else entirely. He couldn't believe that they had both forgotten about him so quickly, but he wasn't completely unhappy.

The two decided just making out wasn't enough, they needed something more. Soon the clothes began flying across the room. A high heel shoe made a nice whole in the wall and a bra flew just over Cody's head. Normally Cody would get up and neatly fold the clothes, but he found he was getting up in an entirely different way.

"Cody, what's going on, I heard some strange noises." Cody hear Zack call from down the hall, but he was so entranced that he couldn't form words. "Sweet mother of a killer penguin!" Zack exclaimed as he sat down beside his brother and enjoyed the sites.

After several moments of being entranced by the odd sights, the girls finally noticed that there were guys staring at them drooling excessively. "Get out! Get out! Get out!" the two yelled throwing all kinds of various objects at the twins. Zack and Cody fled the room, completely ignoring the fact that it was Cody's bedroom to begin with.

"Wow, I couldn't believe that Haley's comet," Zack said.

"I know, that was even better than the DD video you snuck onto the ship when we were at Santa Monica Pier."

"I think you should probably head to my room for the night before they kill you," Zack suggested.

"That might be the good idea," Cody said softly. He couldn't believe what he saw that night, it was every straight guys dream come true, two hot chicks doing it on his bedroom floor.

Zack had made it to his room and opened the door, but Cody was still standing in the middle of the hall, completely lost in thought. "You coming?" Zack asked.

"Oh yeah," Cody said with a nod.

**Tiger: ****Well that was only slightly disturbing. Thanks to Ellianna22 for the encouragement to try out this scene, so go check out her new story which will make you laugh and probably cringe. Poor Connor…**


	4. 4: Broken Hearts and Broken Fourth Walls

Tiger: It's been a while, hasn't it?

Mary-Sue: Indeed it has, with all of your side projects going on you seem to have lost sight on the important ones.

Tiger: That's over now though, because now I can go back to writing Domino Effect.

Mary-Sue: Wait, I thought you were talking about the romance where I fall in love with Cody or Bailey and live happily ever after.

Tiger: I've already done that, and I'm sure my readers are eagerly awaiting the fall out of that last big surprise.

Mary-Sue: I suppose you have a point, but with all this adventure going on, why don't we slow things down a bit and do an in-depth study of the interpersonal relationships that blossom in this mist of this chaos.

Tiger: This can't end well. Gary, come to the disclaimer before your sister completely ruins this story.

Gary-Sue: Warning, the author cannot be held liable if reading this in public causes you to randomly burst out in laughter, which may attract strange people wanting to start a business along with random stares. In addition, the author cannot be held responsible for what will happen to any food or drinks you choose to consume while reading.

Mary-Sue: On with the romance!

Tiger: I guess this means this will take place in the world of Domino Effect after chapter 10 and will show the characters in ways that may not be accurate. This can't end well…

…

Chapter 4: Broken Hearts and Broken Fourth Walls

February 10th 2010 6:45pm

It had been two days since the horrible monsters had attacked the ship, and for the teens that had fought off the assault, they would never be the same again. Fortunately, the twins had their powers, which allowed them to survive the attack, but they couldn't have done it alone. The powerful elemental Altinia came just in time to stop the enemy leader once the twins were pushed to their limit. She also brought two dimensionals who had the power to heal the wounded.

With all the chaos of the battles and death, it seemed like things would never return to normal. Cody sat in the classroom, studying, not caring that class was canceled after the horrific battle. He just wanted something normal to get his mind off all the death and the history of the renaissance was just the thing. He didn't even notice the door opening behind him.

"I wondered where I'd find you," a soft voice said breaking him out of his studying induced trance.

"Hey Bailey, how are you doing?" he said as a warm smile spread across his face.

"Not bad I guess, I just thought you'd like to go to dinner since you've been in here for two hours."

"Sure, I could use a break," he said putting the textbook away and joining her. Their walk seemed surprisingly serene considering the stench of death still cast a grim shadow over the ship.

Once they reached the ship's restaurant, they began talking over a dinner of shrimp, cabosh, and several other foods that Bailey didn't know were even edible, but she was soon amazed by the taste. The two got to know each other, and Cody was captivated by her intelligence. This had been the only first date he had been on where they had been able to talk about quantum mechanics and the Taylor theory without her jumping out the window. It was as if they would make the perfect couple.

After dinner, they took a walk on the moonlit sky deck, surrounded by beautiful music that came from the grand piano that seemed to randomly appear on the ship. "Where did that come from?" Bailey asked.

"It's likely that the author decided this scene needed some romantic music," Cody answered logically.

"Then why is it playing Kamelot's Soul Society?"

"Because the author has no idea how to write romance so just picked the first song that came to mind," Cody answered, having a surprising insight of the random way the author worked. This was also the reason why he wasn't surprised that refrigerators were randomly falling from the sky and into the ocean.

"Regardless of the fact that a piano would normally be unable to play a power metal song like that, I had a wonderful time tonight."

"Me too," he said as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "We should do this again soon."

"Yeah." At this, he had begun to lose his voice, captivated by her eyes. The embraced in a gentle kiss before breaking apart and heading to their respective rooms. With this somewhat lame ending to a romantic night, we soon travel elsewhere on the ship.

…

After many hours of despair at seeing her students taken from her in the horrible attack, Emma Tutwiler's phone began ringing. Once she saw the name on the caller id, she ecstatically answered it.

"Hi boyfriend." Just hearing his voice made any sadness from the day fade.

"Yeah, I'm okay, but a lot of people were hurt badly," she said just glad to here a calm voice. However, the news he gave her completely devastated her. "What do you mean you're breaking up with me!" After an explanation of how hot his new girl friend was and that long distance relationships were too much, she slammed her fist into her coffee table, breaking it and scaring some of her cats while letting loose a blood curling scream.

At that very moment, Altinia was patrolling her deck, her bow ready to take down any monsters that would threaten the safety of the passengers. Hearing Emma's scream, she ran forward, and burst into the teacher's room, literally knocking the door off the hinges. She scanned the room, looking for the beast, but was instead greeted by the meowing of cats.

The elemental that looked just like Angelina Jolie felt all her rage leave her as she bent down to pick up one of the cats and gently stroked its fur.

"Can I help you?" Emma nervously asked the strange person.

It was then that Altinia remembered what she was doing here and (literally) tossed the cat aside before once again looking for anything dangerous. "There aren't any monsters here," she said trying to analyze the situation, "Why were you screaming then?"

"Oh, my idiot boyfriend just broke up with me for a girl with bigger boobs. Men are such idiots."

"Tell me about it," Altinia said shaking her head and sitting on the coach beside the teacher.

"What happened with you?"

"Oh, my husband just turned into a homicidal maniac that wanted to wipe out humanity, nothing major though."

"Wow, that must have been hard you on," Emma said putting a comforting hand around the other women's shoulder.

"It is," Altinia said letting a few tears fall. Normally she would never open up to a stranger, but for the sake of the plot, some things need to be changed.

"Well I'm here for you, if you ever want to talk about it," she said sympathetically.

"Thanks," Altinia said, glad that she had at least someone for emotional support

…

Gary-Stu: What, not even a kiss, I thought you were going to turn that into a hot passionate love scene.

Tiger: Well I was, but this seemed to be the only way to have it still have some resemblance of believability.

Mary-Sue: Yeah, listen to Tiger, he's such a brilliant author, he obviously knows what he's doing

Tiger: You just want me to get the part with the hot guys, don't you?"

Mary-Sue: *Nods head*

Gary-Stu: All you have to do is chalk everything up as the wild uncontrollable emotions of love, like this:

…

And the feelings of friendship burst into something more, as Altinia grabbed Emma's face before mashing their lips together. Emma was shocked to say the least, but she found the other women a better kisser than any of her previous boyfriends, so they decided to continue giving it to their spontaneous lustful desires

Soon they began aggressively exploring the other's bodies, taking in the divinely sculpted curves. In the incredible sensation, none of them cared that they had known each other for more then a few minutes or the fact that they hadn't even considered a same sex relationship moments ago. All that they knew was that it felt right, what ever that meant.

Realizing the couch wasn't the best place for this, Altinia gently lifted Emma and carried her to the bed where soon clothes and any remaining inhabitations were discarded and they took several cues from the previous chapter.

…

Mary-Sue: Happy now?

Gary-Stu: *Nods head*

Mary-Sue: Okay now that we have several happy couples, things can't just end that easily. Let's throw some more drama into this

…

The two brothers, Adian and Peter sat in their room, trying to rest from the busy day. After coming aboard the ship two days ago with Altinia, they used their powers to heal as many people as they could. It wasn't an easy task for the two teens, but they saved a number of lives. However, exhaustion was far from the last thing on the older brother's mind as he got up and paced around the room for what seemed like the seventh time in the past half hour.

"Dude, what's up?" Adian asked, looking up from his comic book.

"It's nothing," Peter said sitting back down on the bed and hastily gazing up at the ceiling.

"You like a guy don't you?" Adian asked knowing how his brother's mind worked.

"Yes," he said turning over and burying his face in the pillow. "Why does Cody have to be so hot?" he mumbled so Adian could hardly hear.

"Give it a shot then," Adian said placing his hand on Peter's shoulder to encourage him. "What's the worst that could happen?"

"You remember the Cole incident?" Peter said remembering the first time he told his secret to anyone other than his brother and how badly that ended up.

"Hey, I'm sure that won't happen here. Besides, I doubt he could say no after you healed him."

"You might be right," Peter said with a small smile before sitting up on his bed.

"Aren't I always? Go give it a try," Adian said.

"You're right, I will," Peter said marching out of his room before his fear could stop him.

…

Cody was walking back to his room after enjoying his date with Bailey, but was stopped by Peter when he got off the elevator.

"Hey Cody, do you have a minute," Peter asked, hoping his resolve would hold out long enough for him to tell Cody how he felt.

"Sure, what's going on?"

"Cody, I'm not sure quite how to tell you this but..." Peter looked to the ground, feeling his voice suddenly leaving him. His heart felt like it was about to jump into his throat and strangle him.

"What is it?"

"I love you," Peter blurted out before he could think about it anymore.

Cody looked at him in shock, never before had he had a guy say that he loved him. He hadn't even considered guys as a romantic option, but he couldn't deny that Peter was quite attractive with his sandy blond hair and crystal blue eyes. Even so, he couldn't ignore the fact that he'd just gone out with Bailey.

"I know, you probably think I'm just a sick fag," Peter said walking away, but was quickly stopped by Cody placing his hand on his shoulder.

"No, it's not that; I was just surprised."

"I guess I can't blame you." After all, having someone randomly proclaim their love for you is something that doesn't happen everyday.

And just like in any story that involves confessions of love, their eyes locked, and before they knew it, their lips were growing closer together. They weren't sure who initiated it, but before they knew it, they were kissing and wrapping their arms around each other. Soon Cody broke away, not sure of what he had done, but he knew he liked it.

"Sorry, I have to go," Cody said breaking from Peter's arms.

"You're not mad, are you?" Peter nervously asked.

"Not at all," Cody said with a grin before turning and running a different direction, a thousand thoughts running through his mind.

…

Mary-Sue: And just because this story isn't complicated enough, let's add another subplot that won't have any real impact on the story!

Tiger: I blame you for my slow updates…

…

"Stupid thingy!" London said kicking her desk that she had tried to reassemble after it was destroyed in the battle with the zombies. Moseby had all of the maintenance workers taking care of the major damage, so she had to actually do some fixing herself. After figuring out which end of the screwdriver to use and that you didn't need one with a nail, she finally had it put together, except for the fact that she was missing one of the legs and looked (un)surprisingly unstable.

"Is something wrong?" Aaron asked after hearing her outburst.

"I just can't get this table to work. You're a guy, you fix it," she said handing the tools to the other teen.

"Um, okay," he said as he began to examine her attempt at fixing things. He had heard stories that London was not the sharpest tool in the shed, so her failure didn't surprise him but he had to laugh at her attempt.

"Looks like I'll need a saw, and a few nails and a two by four and I should be able to salvage it.

Instantly London pulled out her phone and called the ship's storage. "Hello, I need nails, a saw, and a two by four, what ever those mean…How long I'll need them; I'd say a while, since I'm building a desk with it." She got off the phone and looked to Aaron who was stifling a laugh.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh nothing," he said, before going back to work in disassembling the desk.

Once the supplies arrived, Aaron got to work doing what he loved while London assisted and admired how the deft movements of his hands could build something so fluidly. It was amazing to her how some people were gifted with a mind that could analyze how things went together and how they could use their hands bring the images in their minds to life.

"Almost there," Aaron said as he attached the last leg to the table, before wiping the sweet off his brow.

"Awesome," she said, noticing the sweat adding a glistening glow to his face. That combined with his short brown hair, ocean blue eyes and cheerful smile was an image of perfection. And as we all know, attraction instantly equals happily ever after. "Kiss me," she ordered, to which he didn't have any objections.

An omnipresent aww could be heard as we move back to Cody.

…

Mary-Sue: I just came up with a great idea!

Tiger: Unless it has something to do with them not ending filming of SLOD this week, I don't think I'm interested.

Mary-Sue: Actually, it has come to my attencion thanks to a certain im that the show may not be ending after all.

Tiger: Is that even possible?

Mary-Sue: According to the article, "She was just expressing her sadness that the 3rd season is over to her fans it was not intended to say anything about the future of the show."

Tiger: So there is still hope for more after all, though I question the validity of the article...

Mary-Sue: But back to my original idea, let's split this chapter into two so we get even more reviews from our wonderful fans

Tiger: I like that idea, considering there wasn't as much random comedy in this part, but it will be in the next chapter.

Mary-Sue: So please review, since more reviews mean faster updates!


	5. Broken Hearts and Broken Fourth Walls II

Tiger: Are you as amazed as I am…

Mary-Sue: Indeed, even with someone as awesome as me helping you, I never thought you'd get so many reviews for this.

Tiger: Thanks for all the reviews everyone, you people are awesome.

Mary-Sue: Now to finish the awesome romance chapter

Tiger: And what better way to do it then with lots of violence?

Mary-Sue: But let's make things a little more complicated first…

**Chapter 5: Broken Hearts and Broken Fourth Walls, part 2**

Cody returned to his and Zack's shared room as he plopped onto his bed trying to think about everything that had happened. He really felt something for Bailey and they seemed to hit it off perfectly on their first date. They seemed to have so much in common that they would make the perfect couple, but he wasn't sure. He had only known her for a few days and he knew a big part of their relationship was the fact that he saved her during the invasion. Even so, he really enjoyed the time together. Normally he'd expect their relationship to grow over time, but the kiss with Peter didn't simplify things any.

He was caught off guard at first with the proclamation, and wanted to run away at first when Peter kissed him, though once he gave it a chance, it had been the best kiss of his life. He really felt something for Peter too, though he wasn't sure if it was just attraction or love. Peter was such a nice guy, his selflessness leading him to work until he was exhausted to help the people. Cody shook his head, looking for a clear direction.

"What's up bro?" Zack said.

"I think I'm in love," he said somberly.

"Oh cool, with who?"

"I'm not sure. I mean they are both great, but I can't choose just one."

"I know how you feel Codester, it's a heavy burden having women just through them all over you, but sometimes you just have to break a few hearts," Zack said speaking from experience, just not his own experience. "I know the perfect way to take your mind off this though."

"How?" Cody asked, wondering what Zack had planned. The elder twin walked to his closet and brought out a bottle that Cody knew he shouldn't have.

"Is that what I think it is?" he nervously asked.

"Yep, fresh vodka from the ship's storage," Zack said as he grabbed a couple plastic cups out of his desk.

"How did you even get it?"

"Well, with my power to manipulate time, they didn't even see me take it, and I figured we deserved some reward for saving everyone."

"I don't know Zack," Cody replied nervously. "Have you ever tried it before?"

"No, I thought we should do it together. Just try one, if you don't like it we can stop."

Even though it went against everything Cody believed in, he decided to give it a shot. He was pretty sure one drink wouldn't kill him, and he was curious what it would be like to be drunk, so he figured what better person to do it with then Zack.

They took the first shot together, the strange taste making them want to spit it back up. It was almost as bad as the time Zack accidentally took a drink of mouth wash instead of water

"That didn't taste good," Cody said, grabbing a bottle of water to wash away the taste.

"Yeah, I don't see why people drink this so much."

However, after several minuets, the twins started feeling a bit tipsy, and guessed it was due to the alcohol.

"If this is what one does, I wonder what would happen if we had more?" Zack suggested.

"Let's try it," Cody said enjoying the freedom the drink seemed to be giving him

**Ten minuets and five more drinks later**

"Okay, that might have been a bit much," Cody said as he tried walking, but soon found that his legs didn't work, so fell to the floor and began admiring the swirls in the carpet.

"That looks comfy," Zack said as he too fell to the floor, and wondered why it was lumpy. It then occurred to him that he was on top of Cody. "Why are you so lumpy?" the older twin said as he tried getting more comfortable and flattening Cody's lumps, but he soon gave up and decided to just stay there and then decided to just drift asleep.

…

Mary-Sue: What? They're just going to fall asleep after that?

Tiger: Well it makes sense that after so much to drink they'd get sleepy.

Mary-Sue: Yeah, but that's boring. It's much more fun when the alcohol makes characters do something they would never do normally. Maybe try something like this.

'_I remember when  
We used to laugh  
About nothing at all  
It was better than going mad  
From trying to solve all the problems we're going through  
Forget 'em all  
Cause on those nights we would stand and never fall  
Together we faced it all '_

_Those Nights, Skillet_

Tiger: How does that fit a romance between the two?

Mary-Sue: Weren't you going to use that song for them soon though?"

Tiger: Yes, but not as romance

Mary-Sue: Don't question the rabid fangirls

The twins suddenly overcame their alcohol induced tiredness and got up. Under the influence, secrets they kept hidden from themselves burst to the surface. Fueled by their hormones and the drink, they both wanted one thing more than anything else in the world.

"I want you," Zack said as he wrapped his arms around Cody and planted a kiss firmly on his lips. It wasn't like the other kisses; this was fueled by a primal lustful desire that could only be satisfied one way.

"I love you too," Cody responded, breaking away just long enough to respond before he went back in for another round.

Soon they found themselves on a bed; they weren't sure of whose exactly and at a time like this they didn't care. Zack rolled Cody under him, and broke their lips away. Gazing down at his brother and seeing the joy across his face propelled him to go further.

**9 minuets and a loss of virginity later…**

"Whoa, that was incredible Zack," Cody said lying in bed beside his brother, his breathes still rushed from the excitement.

"I know Cody." Even though there was absolutely no evidence through this story or the others in the series that they had any romantic interest in each other, not to mention the fact that it wasn't in the show at all, they made love that night and promised to be with other for the rest of their lives.

However, as with all good (and bad) romance, things are far from that simple…

**The next morning**

As Cody woke up the next morning, he found that he had a roaring headache. When he tried getting up out of bed, the dizziness made him sit back down. He held his head in his hands trying to quell the feeling that made his head feel like it was going to explode. Looking down, he realized he was completely naked.

Images from the previous day flooded through his mind as he tried remembering what happened. There was the date with Bailey, Peter telling him that he loved him and the kiss. He remembered something happened with Zack, but that was the blurriest part, likely do to him drinking so much then. He thought he remembered something about love, and then something great happening. Had he really made love with his brother; it seemed completely impossible by any logical standards, but he couldn't deny the memories nor the fact that his brother was still laying in his bed and also appeared to be naked.

"I really need to hurt Mary Sue next time I see her," he mumbled before turning the lights on, which only made his hangover worse. He stumbled over to the bathroom and turned the shower on, hoping the rumors would be true about that helping to get rid of hangovers.

The rhythmic roar of the water against his body did seem to calm him some, but he still felt horrible even after cleaning himself. Wrapping a towel around him, he got out of the bathroom to see how Zack was doing.

"That was some night wasn't it?" Zack asked, still lying in bed.

"Let's just pretend that never happened," Cody said wanting to just forget the whole thing and just chalk it up as authors having too wild of imaginations.

"Why would we forget something so wonderful though?" the older twin said as he seductively crawled out of bed still naked.

"No, she still has a hold of you," Cody said backing up against the wall, seeing that Mary was still affecting his brother's mind. He knew he had to get away fast, so he pushed his brother to the side, grabbed some clothes out of Zack's closet since it was closest, and then harnessed his super speed to burst out of the room. He ducked into a supply closet before getting dressed making sure to lose Zack. Looking down at the clothes in his arms, he realized they were Dalmatian pajamas, complete with paws, a tail, and a doggy head as a hood.

"These authors have a sick since of humor," he said shaking his head, but decided it was better than nothing and went back to the halls wondering if he could find something to return Zack to normal. That was until he came across Bailey.

"Aw you look so cute!" she exclaimed, giving Cody a hug.

"Thanks Bailey," he said, just glad to see a calm non hormonal crazed friend.

"Now be mine," she said moving her hands up his shirt and kissing him passionately. He ran away from her, seeing another of his friends had fallen victim to the desires from evil author personalities. He had to do something to get away from them, but there were only so many places he could hide on the ship. Ducking into one of the bathrooms, he figured he'd be safe so he leaned against the wall and took several deep breathes.

"Cody!" a voice called out snapping him out of his thoughts. Afraid of it being Zack or Bailey, he turned, glad to see it was only Peter.

"It's only you," he said with a sigh of relief.

"What's going on, and why are you dressed like a dog?"

"Well, I was chased out of my room when I got out of the shower and didn't have time to look at the clothes I grabbed. So it was either this or a towel."

"Not a bad thought," Peter said with a nod as a number of enjoyable images went though his mind.

"Um…" Cody slowly began backing away from Peter.

"I'm sure you don't like wearing those, why don't you just take them off? After all, it's just us in here." Peter said as he slowly walked closer to Cody until the younger twin was backed against a wall.

"Not you too!" Cody yelled, once again bursting from his friend, finally finding his way onto the sky deck where it looked like he had found rest since there wasn't anyone else there. He laid down on one of the chairs, glad to finally find a place alone.

He had to think of a way out of this mess. It wasn't like he could just avoid all his friends, though he sure wasn't going to just sleep with all of them. One thing seemed strange to him, earlier in the story and chapter, he was willing to go along with their desire, but why had he been able to resist now? Had their author powers somehow worn off? Were they simply torturing him by changing everyone around him and leaving him alone, or was there some other reason he could resist?

He was soon broken out of his thoughts by Zack, Peter and Bailey coming onto the sky deck to find him.

"There's my boyfriend," Peter exclaimed running over to him.

"Wait, he's my boyfriend," Bailey said shoving Peter out of the way.

"He may be your boyfriends, but that's nothing compared to the relationship we have," Zack said.

At this, a number of thoughts fears and questions went though the younger twin's mind, one of which he finally was able to ask. "Zack, why are you wearing a tuxedo?"

"Oh, I'm not really sure. After you ran away, I decided to go look for you, but didn't think about putting clothes on. These randomly appeared on me when I went out in the hallway," Zack explained. "Don't worry; I'll get rid of these as soon as we get back to the room."

"I won't let you have him," Bailey said, fury building inside her. After all Cody had saved her from, it was only natural she repay the favor by saving him from these savages. The orb of fire she wore around her neck like a necklace grew an even brighter shade of red and raging hot flames appeared in her hand. "Get away!" she yelled at Zack, tossing the fire at him.

He barely had time to jump away before being incinerated. He then brought out his sword out of the ninth dimension of randomness and prepared to do battle with her for the heart of his brother. "Back off bitch, he's my brother," he snarled.

"Even more reason you shouldn't have him!" Bailey declared, launching innumerable fireballs at the older twin who used his super speed to move around them before getting close enough to strike. He brought his blade down, nearly slicing her head off, but she ducked to the side just in time, before striking him with a blaze sending him into a wall.

Peter stood back, knowing he couldn't match the other two's raw power, but that didn't mean he wouldn't do everything he could do win the object of his desire. He brought his hands together and focused on the space in front of him, bending it to call upon the help he needed. Luckily Zack and Bailey were too distracted trying to kill each other to notice. After several tense moments, a blue portal opened and out of it stepped his personal army of killer penguins. "Get them!" he ordered.

The army of professionally trained Antarctic killers charged at the teens. They were all experts of martial arts, many of them carrying various weapons. One of them swung a katana at Zack who deflected it with his own blade. Another one tossed several shuriken at Bailey who put up a wall of flame to block the attack.

At this point, Cody made a note to get mental help for the author, even though he isn't too mentally unstable and can function fine in society, at least most of the time.

Zack made his way through the army of penguins, pushing himself to the limit to avoid being bird food, his sword making the penguins black and white and red all over. Once Bailey made her way through the birds assaulting her, she took advantage of a distracted Zack and blasted him with a stream of flames which nearly sent him overboard.

However, he hung onto the railing for dear life, but had to drop his sword overboard. Using all his strength, he pulled himself back up to see Peter's army standing strong against Bailey's flames. Zack saw he had the opportunity to strike when they were distracted. He knew he'd only have one shot at this and had to choose his target carefully. Bailey was powerful with her fire, but she lacked the speed to keep up with his attacks. Peter on the other hand could be a dangerous foe with his army of penguins, so that would be his target.

Using his inhuman speed he ran at the other dimensional, punching and kicking through the penguins before sending Peter into the nearest wall with a mighty punch.

Peter got up, not willing to lose this love of his life like this. However, as he got up, he saw something was terribly wrong. Instead of the baggy shorts and t-shirt he had on a second ago, he was wearing giant kitty pajamas. After uttering a number of explicit death threats, he tried tearing them off, not caring if there was anything under them, but found they could not be removed from his body.

**Elsewhere on the ship**

"Thank you for the assistance, I knew I could always count on my favorite oc to torment my friends."

"Of course, this partnership has been quite informative for me so I was glad to help."

"Really?"

"Oh, yes, I'm curious to see when he will discover the full extent of his powers. He will be quite dangerous if I'm not careful."

"I think you better prepare to help your master for the end of this chapter instead of giving away spoilers. He'll need your help."

**Back to Cody and the people fighting over him**

Cody looked on in awe, fire, penguins and Zack were flying all across the battlefield, causing as much destruction as the battle days earlier. However, that wasn't the main thing to get the younger twin's attention. Standing beside him was none other than the main villain of the series, Hakalahs.

"Aren't they going to do something to stop me?" Hakalahs asked his enemy.

"It doesn't look like it," Cody said causally shrugging his shoulders.

"This might do the trick," Hakalahs said gathering lightning in his hand and firing several blasts into the ship which would soon cause it to sink.

"Could you keep it down?" Zack asked, "We're in the middle of something here."

"You dare ignore the might of the great and mighty Hakalahs!" He hovered in the air with his black wings before surrounding himself with a mighty pillar of flames which blew many pieces of the ship away. "Trey!" he said summoning his top general. "Play the epic music of death."

"As you wish my lord."

Trey then used his power over time and space to transport several enormous speakers around the sky deck, and then pressed the button for the song to begin.

'_I think I'm cute. _  
_I know I'm sexy._  
_I've got the looks. _  
_That drive the girls wild. _  
_I've got the moves, that really move'em. _  
_I send chills up and down their spines.'_

"That is not the correct song!" Hakalahs said, scolding his general.

"I know; I must have forgotten to change the cd."

"Why do you even have a cd with that on it?"

"While being your general is all well and good, it doesn't pay the bills, so I've had to take up a side job. And this song helps me to satisfy the customers," Trey explained as he rapidly pressed the eject button on his remote.

_'I'm just a sexy boy. Sexy Boy.  
I'm not your boy Toy. Boy Toy.  
I'm just a sexy boy. Sexy Boy.  
I'm not your boy toy. Boy Toy.'_

"How are the batteries dead?" Trey screamed, tossing them into the ocean below. He then used his power over space to steal a pack from the ship's store and finally got the remote working, but not before another humiliating verse could play.

_'I make'em hot. I make'em shiver.  
Their knees get weak whenever I'm around.  
They see me walk. They hear me talk.  
I make'em feel Like their on cloud nine.'_

"Let's try that again," Trey said once he replaced the cd with the correct one. Suddenly, the sound of the musical masterpiece One Winged Angel filled the air of the ship (which can be found at: http:/ www . you tube . com/watch?v=fLI3fSgccZU.) Finally the heroes took their attention off each other to notice their arch nemesis so close to the love of their life. They ran at him, finally giving Hakalahs the battle he wanted.

Zack swiped his blade down at his foe, who nimbly deflected it with his own blade. Seeing Zack distracted with his foe, Bailey and Peter both took the opportunity to grab Cody and drag him away. However, not content to share their prize, instead they got into a tug of war with Cody as the rope. The younger twin scrammed in pain, which got Zack's attention.

Zack ran to his brother and grabbed his legs with Bailey on his left and kitty-cat on his right and they were all pulling to get him away from their rivals of the heart.

"Hakalahs, help!" Cody screamed, shocked that he'd be calling out to the most evil person in the world.

"You must pledge your loyalty to me for the rest of your life," the Black Phoenix declared.

"Fine whatever, just help me."

"Very well," Hakalahs said firing several shots of lightning at the three causing them to back away. Cody ran like a scared puppy behind Hakalahs. "Fly with me," he said holding out his hand to the younger twin and the two of them flew through the air. Hakalahs fired several blasts of lightning and fire at the ship as they flew away, rendering it to ashes. There were no survivors.

And they all lived happily ever after.

Mary-Sue: Can you write a romance without lots of violence

Tiger: I don't think so


	6. Chapter 6: Love Makes People Crazy

**A/N: **In light of recent events, I thought I'd approach them from a comical standpoint. This isn't meant to offend or make fun of anyone, just illustrate my perspective. I want to thank everyone who aided me in this story, whether you knew you were helping or not.

…

**Chapter 6: ****Love Makes People Crazy**

It was a bright summer's day as the two lovers stood across from each other, the wind of the park gently sweeping through the trees causing the leaves to rustle gently.

"I can't believe it," Zack said, his thoughts racing. Could anything have been more unlikely than this?

"I know," Bailey responded, taking Zack's hand in hers. They both smiled, content just to be with each other, and after the various trials they had endured to reach this point, they both knew nothing could ever separate them.

"Bailey Debby Pickett," the minister began, the close of the wedding quickly approaching. "Do you take Zachary Dylan Martin, to be your husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health till death do you part?"

Bailey closed her eyes, her mind swirling with memories of the miracles that had brought her and Zack together after all this time. Looking back at when they first met, she would have never imagined that she'd be marrying Zack, but life certainly has a funny way of breaking away from what anyone might have thought all those years ago. She opened, her eyes fighting back a lump of emotion in her throat. "I do," she said softly, conveying in those two simple words more certainty than she ever had before.

"Zachary Dylan Martin," the minister said, turning to the groom.

Zack nodded, knowing his turn was coming.

"Do you take Bailey Debby Pickett to be your wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health till death do you part?"

Zack too paused for a moment, not out of uncertainty, but from wondering how he could give those two words true justice for the one he loved so much. Their relationship hadn't been easy, that was for sure.

If someone had told him those many years ago that he'd be dating and then marrying his brother's high school girlfriend, he would have laughed at them and called them crazy. Years had passed and things had changed, though at one point he'd thought he would never see Bailey again, and that hadn't even bothered him. But after the helicopter incident and its repercussions, everything had changed. Their relationship wasn't anything like the kind he saw on Disney, but a relationship like that would be boring and cliché.

And he wasn't one for a boring life.

"Zack?" Bailey asked.

"I do," Zack said with a powerful seriousness, in sharp contrast to the goofy carefree personality of his teen years.

"You may now kiss the bride."

All of nature fell silent as the two lovers moved their lips closer together, the now-sinking sun setting the fields ablaze with reds and yellows, a golden glow highlighting their radiant faces. They wrapped their arms around each other as the space between them disappeared and when their lips collided, their bodies drawn together by passions stirring deep inside them, the moment of ecstasy seemed to last an eternity, knowing that there would never be another tonight.

Slowly Zack and Bailey broke apart staring deeply into one another's eyes. The many family and friends who had gathered let out a huge applause for the two.

Cody felt a couple of tears fall down his face, truly happy for his brother and high school girlfriend. He remembered how nervous Zack had been when he'd told him that he and Bailey had started dating. Cody had just shrugged it off. True he had dated Bailey in the past, but that was over ten years ago, no reason for him to stop Zack from pursing the girl he loved.

Beside Cody sat a mysterious figure with a notebook who wore a black hat he frequently called his pimp hat. While he wasn't much of a fan for romantic scenes like this, he had to admit, the story of Zack and Bailey and everything they had been through had truly captivated him.

The minister smiled at the overjoyed couple. "I now pronounce you–"

A massive rumble echoed through the outdoor chapel, as though a herd of wild elephants were stampeding toward it.

"What's going on?" Cody asked, glancing around.

"I've heard this sound before," said the mysterious stranger "It signals that the monsters are coming for us, which can only end in an epic fantasy battle to the death."

However, it was something worse, far worse in fact. It was an army indeed — but an army made up of crazed fan-girls, along with a few fan-boys thrown in to avoid being politically incorrect.

Their leader stepped forward, a raven-haired teenage girl scoring at least a 13 on a hotness scale from 1 to 10. The venomous glare on her face indicated a great rage building within her, as though a terrible injustice had been done. Normally, every guy in sight would have jumped the gun to ask her out, but at this time they were completely terrified of her.

"Mary-Sue?" exclaimed the stranger, whom you should have recognized as Tiger.

"How could you mistake me for someone totally insane?" the girl shot back. "I am her twin sister, Sally-Sue." This should come as no surprise to those who understand Sues because having a random twin that no one ever knew about is one of their defining characteristics.

"I'm confused now," Zack said, wanting to just be pronounced married.

"Yeah," Tiger added. "I thought I would at least have known that you existed."

"Oh, after the _Twilight_ incident those many moons ago I refused to speak to her again." The sky darkened and a spotlight turned on Sally, creating an ominous mood for her story. "It was a bright and glorious day, the release of the most awesome movie ever, _Twilight_," she said. "My sister and I were waiting in line for our tickets when I learned that she was Jacob/Bella shipper. I couldn't believe that my own sister would dare support a non-canon pairing. What is wrong with the world today that people think they can go around supporting whatever shippings they want?"

"Didn't Bella once consider Jacob, too?" London asked from her spot among the bridesmaids, having about as much knowledge of the wildly popular book/movie series as the author.

"All facts that would pose any risk of contradicting my opinions shall be ignored, mocked, laughed at, disregarded, and if possible, set on fire," shrilled Sally. "But I did not come here to debate _Twilight_, especially since we all know that I'm right and anyone who disagrees with me is wrong."

"I see logic is fully intact throughout this fandom," Cody said.

"Yes, I came here to address the audacity that is Zack and Bailey getting married here. Only a hack writer would dare think that they could pair up. Everything in the show points to Cailey forever and ever, so any pairing that stomps on this must be trash."

With that, the crumbling of a certain wall echoed throughout the wedding chapel.

Sally's army of equally stubborn servants all voiced a loud approval.

"Did you even pay attention to everything that built up to this moment?" Zack asked.

"Yeah, the author went through a great deal of work making our relationship develop realistically," said Bailey, "accounting for the various trials that would befall characters such as us."

A blonde took a sip of Starbucks coffee and looked on at what was likely not to end well.

"I have to agree," Cody said, standing up to join his brother and soon-to-be-sister-in-law. "I know Bailey and I dated in the past, but we were both immature kids back then. We were bound to break up eventually."

"And even if you don't like the idea of me and Bailey being married," Zack said, "You have to admire the way the author took as through the many scenes building up to the wedding. With brilliant writing we were shown through the funny times, sad times, dangerous times, and even some more personal moments."

"No no no no no no no no no no," stormed Sally. "This isn't right! The only way to save this story is for Cody and Bailey to repent for all their sins of seeking other loves and start making out and get married right here. Otherwise you are completely assassinating the characters!"

"Okay, time to bring some sense of logic into this situation," Tiger said as he snapped his fingers. "Pedro, get to work."

In a flash of light, the general appeared leading an army every bit as fearsome as Sally's if not more so.

"How can I serve you?" Pedro asked Tiger with a respectful salute while Cody hid behind his brother, quaking with fright.

"Ah, you and the rest of the killer penguins have excellent timing as always," said Tiger. "Now, would you be so kind as to get rid of Sally and the rest of her annoyances so we can get on with a good romance?"

"Wow, you actually using 'good' and 'romance' right next to each other," marveled the lead killer penguin. "Mary-Sue must be corrupting you. What's next, you writing a multi-chapter romance without violence?"

"I actually have an idea for a somewhat lengthy Woody/Bailey romance, and I might even keep violence out of it," Tiger admitted, much to the surprise of most people who would read this.

"Well I guess I'd better battle Mary for the honor of being your sole muse later on," said Pedro. "However, it looks like I have some action to add to this once-romantic chapter."

And so Pedro drew his katana and rushed at Sally, but she jumped straight over his head, swift and unharmed.

"How is this possible?" he demanded.

Suddenly metal versions of video-game music began filling the wedding chapel, causing Tiger to bang his head with the epicness of it all while grabbing a muffin out of the conveniently placed fridge, ready to partake in this epic battle.

"I may not be Mary, but I am a Sue through and through," shouted Sally, "and Sues are always one step ahead of whatever their opponent throws at them."

In response, Sally built up a fireball in her hand and hurled it at Pedro, who jumped nimbly to the side before pulling a shuriken out of his back pocket and tossing it at her.

With a cry of anger, the hot chick summoned bolts of lightning to deflect the attacks, then teleported right behind Pedro and with a well-aimed kick, sent him flying high into the sky.

Pedro used his wings to stabilize himself in the air while Sally pulled out a bow and fired several arrows at him, hoping that the Fire Emblem mechanic about arrows being effective against flyers would be true.

To her dismay, Pedro merely dodged them.

"How is that possible?" Sally asked.

"Remember, penguins are not supposed to fly, therefore your mechanics don't work."

"But then how are you flying?"

"I am a killer penguin," Pedro said, stating the obvious. A lightning spear materialized in his wing and as he descended upon his foe, and in response to this Tiger thought of an interesting analogy between this battle and computer programming. (He really needs a break from school.)

Pedro's attack hit dead on, blasting Sally through the pews until she landed head-first in a pumpkin.

She tore the pumpkin away, letting it fall to the ground, and being the Sue that she is, she still looked every bit as stunning. Sprouting colorful angel-like wings, she rushed back into the battle and flew at the penguin, who responded with a quick right hook to the jaw.

"Do you honestly believe you can defeat me?" Pedro said quite arrogantly, drawing inspiration from video-game battles. "Shining bind!" he shouted, sending Sally careening backward amid bursts of light.

"How could I lose?" Sally moaned, her remaining power quickly fading.

"There are several reasons," Pedro explained matter-of-factly. "For one, the author is mildly obsessed with penguins for some strange reason, so it would make sense for them to win. Also, I gather my ideas from various action-related video games and anime, so I know how to fight while you spend all your time on boring canon romances." As Pedro finished his statement, his army finished systematically defeating Sally's supporters.

An embittered squawk overhead caused every pair of eyes in the chapel to look skyward, just in time to see a ruffle of feathers retreating toward the horizon.

"Well, now that Tiger got his violence in, what do you say we finish this wedding?" Zack asked, ready to get everything back on track.

"I couldn't agree more," Bailey said as he once again pulled her in for a kiss both knowing that they were doing the right thing.

"I know pronounce you husband and wife!" the minister announced, and the entire crowd cheered, including the killer penguins.

And so the story goes on, a story of deep love and respect between acquaintances who became so much more. Although Zack and Bailey didn't live happily ever after, since things are rarely that simple, they lived a life truly worth living.


	7. Chapter 7: Farewell Cruel World

**Mary-Sue: Ah, it's been a while since Tiger let me out. Something about ruining the emotional vibe of his stories or some other lame excuse.**

**Tiger: As much as I love your romance ideas, Mary, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be very helpful when writing my emotional stories.**

**Mary-Sue: Are you saying I can't do emotional stories? I'm aghast that you'd ever think that about me. In fact, just to prove you wrong, let's make this chapter an emotional tragedy.**

**Tiger: I like the way you think. The-lovely-anomaly suggested that idea in a recent review. You think we could do that one?**

**Mary-Sue: Oh, yeah, it will be awesome.**

**Gary-Stu: Wait, you two are agreeing. Everybody run for your lives!**

**Mary-Sue: But remember to read and review first!**

**Gary-Stu: These two nut-jobs would like to thank Elianna22 for betaing and TLA for the idea.**

* * *

**Chapter 7: Farewell, Cruel World**

_'When passion colors everything _  
_The songs I sing, from way out there to deep within _  
_The face I wear behind my grin _  
_The mess I made to the original sin _

_Everything, everything, everything'_

_Passion Colors Everything, Poets of the Fall_

It was a beautiful day on the ship, with as many suns singing and birds shining that you could shake a stick at, but Cody Martin was ignoring all this, choosing instead to confine himself to the library where he was doing everything he could to ready himself for the Yale classes he'd be taking in less than a year. He knew he didn't have the understanding of bio-chemistry that he would need, so he'd committed himself fully to memorizing how the two branches of science combined.

"Cody, we have a letter for you," Moseby called from the door of the library, but he was quickly met with a disapproving 'Shhhhhh' from the librarian.

"Who's it from?" Cody asked, looking up, glad to give his eyes a rest from the dense material.

"Yale."

Cody's heart beat harder and faster than it ever had before. He hurried over to Moseby, his body trembling so violently that he could barely stay on his feet. After what seemed like an eternity, he finally got hold of the plain white envelope that held the paper that held the fate of his entire future.

"Thank you."

He took the envelope, gently pressing his finger against the seal, and tore open the top, careful not to destroy the contents. Inside was a neatly folded paper with the Ivy League institution's seal printed upon it. He opened the paper and slowly read the words that would change his life forever.

_Dear Cody Martin,_

_We are sending you this letter to inform you of our decision in regards to your application. After careful consideration of your grades, recommendations and test scores, we have come to the difficult decision that you are not one of the students chosen to attend our campus this fall._

Cody dropped the letter like it had scorched his hand and ran from the library. All he wanted was to get away from that evil piece of paper.

…

He made his way back to his cabin, longing to hide in there and sulk, but his attention was caught by Bailey's voice.

Coming from Zack's cabin.

_'What's going on?'_he wondered as he gently pried the door open

There sat his brother and his girlfriend, both of them on Zack's bed.

"Oh take me, Zack, take me now!" she exclaimed, a wild smile on her face.

"As you wish."

Cody slammed the door, unable to believe what he'd just seen. After months and months of being faithful to her, no matter what had happened, how could she just cheat on him with Zack like that? He'd taken things slowly for a reason, not wanting to go farther until they both knew they were ready, and there she was, throwing herself at his brother. His very own twin brother!

That would teach him to trust her again. Could his day get any worse?

He shuffled to his cabin and swung the door open, to discover a sight more terrible than anything that had happened to him so far today.

All of his stuff was gone – and replaced with penguins. They were on the walls, the bed, the closet door. Even the floors were covered with hideous images of the bird that couldn't fly!

Cody rushed to his desk to grab his laptop, one of his most important possessions. When he flipped up the screen, a penguin screensaver greeted him.

"No!" he screamed, fleeing the cabin like it was on fire (which he would have preferred to the penguins).

…

**Mary-Sue: Here it comes…**

**Tiger: Finally, time for the violence!**

**Mary-Sue: Sheesh, what's with you? Does every story have to have some sort of action scene in it?**

**Tiger: Only the good ones.**

…

Cody found his way up to the Sky Deck, where the night sky made a serene contrast to the rollercoaster of his heart. He looked down at the dark waters before him. The murkiness of the sea mirrored his future. He had no idea how far it would go, he couldn't see into it at all.

That's when he came to his decision.

He lifted himself up onto the rail. No longer could he live with such painful uncertainty, such devastating betrayal and heartbreak. He grabbed hold of his laptop, deciding to take that to the grave with him. After all, it contained all his essays and papers he had written so he'd have the grades to get into college along with those hundreds of love poems he'd written for Bailey. A fitting end to the things that had been rendered useless.

…

However, as must happen in any story like this, Zack, Moseby and Bailey were all strolling to the Sky Deck at just the right time. But due to Tiger's required action quota per chapter, we also find the unnamed old lady who likes to hit kids with her purse filled with bricks.

"Hey, I'm not a kid!" Zack contradicted, unaware that the old lady was lurking in the shadows.

Although she's so old that anyone under 100 would be a kid to her, and it's probably a good thing she's not here, otherwise I'd be in some serious pain. Anyway, back to the story…

"I'm afraid I cannot let you pass," she said, stepping out to swing her purse at him like a pair of nunchucks.

" Moseby, if I stop her in the interest of protecting other people, I can't get in trouble, right?"

Zack didn't wait for Moseby's answer, choosing instead to run at the old lady. If he didn't hear a no, he couldn't be wrong.

He ducked under her purse, before giving her a good uppercut to the jaw, but she merely back-flipped and landed on her feet with astonishing agility for a senior citizen. She ran at him and this time her purse connected with his face and sent him crashing through the wall into the ship's kitchen.

Bailey then stepped in, leaping through the air and kicking her in the stomach, while Zack scrambled out of the kitchen, eating a tasty and conveniently located brownie. Bailey didn't last long, though, soon knocked unconscious by the old lady's martial arts prowess.

"What do we do?" Zack asked. He had to do something! Bailey was out cold, and Moseby was cowering in the corner muttering something about Grama Moseby flashbacks.

"Here, Zack, take this," an unfamiliar blonde called out from the hallway. She tossed Zack a weapon unlike any he had ever seen.

"It's pink!" he said with disgust.

"It's an AK-47," the stranger replied.

"Works for me!" Zack took aim with the deadly pink weapon and after all these years finally brought the old lady down.

"Thanks," he said, tossing the assault rifle back to the stranger.

…

Somehow, no time at all had passed for Cody during the action sequence. He held his legs over the edge of the rail, feeling the cool breeze tickle his calves as if begging him to fully succumb to the embracing cold of the ocean.

"Cody, what are you doing!" Zack cried out, rushing to his brother's side.

"You wouldn't understand," Cody said in tones of despondence. "I've lost everything. First I found out I wasn't accepted to Yale."

"Wait, did you not read all of the letter?" Moseby asked him.

"What's the point?"

"Let me read the second paragraph," Moseby said, taking the wretched letter out of his pocket.

_Instead, you have been selected to be part of a new program we are developing where you will be studying aboard the International Space Station, giving you the educational experience of a lifetime. In exchange for helping us with this trial program, we also award you a full scholarship._

"Oh wow," Cody breathed, a wide smile spreading across his face.

But as much as he wanted to focus on the good, he couldn't forget what he'd seen in Zack's cabin. "What about you two?" he accused the back-stabbing pair. "Betraying me in the worst possible way?"

"Huh?" Zack asked, while Bailey just gave him a dumb look.

"I saw you two in Zack's cabin and Bailey asked you to take her and you both seemed really giddy."

"Oh, I was telling her about the new cabin you're getting," Zack replied. "Apparently they're giving some of the upperclassman their own cabins and I was going to show her so we could decorate it for you and surprise you."

"So that would explain why all those penguins were in my room?"

"Yeah, I already moved most of your stuff out and the new kid must have started decorating right away," Zack said.

"Yes, and that was my laptop you were about to take overboard with you," the random kid said before yanking the computer away, dawning his pimp hat and disappearing as mysteriously as he appeared.

"I can't believe how I just jumped to conclusions," Cody said, shaking his head. He couldn't believe how dumb he was for someone who had just been accepted to Yale.

"That's okay, just never do it again," Bailey said, wrapping her arms around her boyfriend.

"I won't," he promised.

"And what about the obligatory moment of overly emotional brotherly love?" Zack asked.

"I thought you didn't like sappy things like that though."

"Cody, you're my brother, my twin, my best friend. I love you man."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I couldn't imagine life without you. No matter how bad things seem, don't do something stupid like that."

"Okay Zack, I promise." They hugged, reaffirming their love for each other that would survive even the darkest of days. Moved by the affection, the other soon joined in the embrace

And after the big group hug, and the required 'awww' that rippled through the audience, they all lived happily ever after.

…

**Mary-Sue: Please review and I have lots more ideas of how to torture Cody.**

**Cody: Wait, when did I agree to this?**

**Tiger: We never asked your permission.**

**Cody: Great, now I have two mentally unstable people who have way too much fun torturing me.**


	8. 8: The Unbreakable Bond of Brothers

Mary-Sue: And we're back.

Tiger: zzzzz…wait, what, who's there?

Mary-Sue: It's your muse, silly. Sheesh, you do a couple fancy poetic stories and you think you can just push me aside. Well, I won't stand for it.

Tiger: But it's late and I want to go to bed—

Mary-Sue: You should know better than to question rabid fan-girls.

Tiger: Okay, what should we write about then?

Mary-Sue: You know who my favorite characters are…

Tiger: Zack and Cody, but we already did twincest in Chapter 1, then it popped up again in Chapter 5.

Mary-Sue: Fine, but what about showing how the unbreakable bond of brothers can brace against the bitter badness of the world.

Tiger: You really like alliteration don't you?

Mary-Sue: Yep, now onto the story!

…

**Chapter 8: The Unbreakable Bond of Brothers**

And so we find ourselves amongst the alleys of New York, where the shady eyes of the drunken populace gaze along the black pavement. All seemed normal on the night in question, not a trash can or stray cat out of place.

Except for one teen, his eyes downcast, head lowered as if he were holding the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Though in this case it was very much true. He felt like his world had fallen apart, shattered like when you throw a bottle of glass on the floor or throw a laptop out the window because it keeps freezing when you have homework that has to be done. Stupid computers.

Oh wait, where was I?

Oh yeah, the teen, walking through the streets, all depressed.

Anyway, he was sad. Really sad. Tears slicked his cheeks as though he'd just shoved a freshly cut onion into his eyes.

And this twin never cried. He could hammer his finger instead of a nail and barely wince. He could drop an anchor on his foot and not flinch. But this…this was more than that. The emotional pain was like the sound of a million nails on a chalk board, just before they were shoved into his heart.

He couldn't forget what had been said. He couldn't take it back. No matter how much he wanted to. He knew he deserved what had happened. Now he was lost, abandoned, forgotten.

Exactly what he deserved.

…

**Elsewhere in the world**

…

The sky was cold and frigid, the weather was bright and clear, and for a twin oh so like the one we just saw, it was the worst day of his life. His eyes searched every street corner, every alley, every toaster,hoping he could find what was lost. How had it come to this? The one he admired, looked up to, idolized, wanted to be just like— worshipped like a god,—was gone. _Gone_.

And it was all his fault.

It was all he could do to keep his eyes focused on the road through the water pouring over his face. His mom must have been nuts to give him car with no roof. And where all this rain come from had was anyone's guess. After all, the sky has been clear just two paragraphs ago. Though I guess that's what happens when the author changes things around however he wants. It's a wonder anything makes sense.

He found himself among the streets of New York, not sure how he knew that Zack was here.. But he just knew. Because that's what the powers of the twin bond can do. No logical reasoning was needed, not even for the logical twin, because it just was. A bond unbreakable by hatred or distance, solidified from a primordial love for one another that no one else could understand. For that's what it meant to be a twin, to have a second half. To only be complete with one another. And to be shattered when apart.

"Where are you Zack?" he asked the night as he rounded onto yet another street, his heart breaking as each turn brought the unthinkable closer and closer to the forefront of his mind.

…

**Back to Zack to build the suspense**

Mary-Sue: Wait, is this how twin brothers really act?

Tiger: I guess so, it's not like I have a twin.

Mary-Sue: Well Sally and I are _nothing_ like this. After that epic battle against Pedro, she went home and I defenestrated her.

Tiger: You threw her out the window?

Mary-Sue: Yeah, but I get the feeling most of our fans won't like that.

Tiger: Except for the strange violence-loving ones, at least.

Mary-Sue: Back to the story!

…

Zack looked at his watch. Hours and hours had flown by, just like that. With the rain gushing all around him, he would have to get out of it soon. No telling what kind of strange creatures prowled around the city on stormy nights. Vampires, Nightwings, zombies—or even robot mutant ninja space pirates. He couldn't be too careful.

But could he go back?

After what had happened between him and Cody, could things ever be the same? Or were they destined to grow apart, to never have the same relationship again, like high school sweethearts who said they'd overcome obstacle only to break up after a week of going to separate colleges.

Zack hoped this wasn't the case. But with the sad piano melody tinkling from a window several stories above him, he had a bad feeling about this.

He leaned against the wall of the building, staring up into the torrential downpour, and smiled a grim smile, knowing that this was his new life. It was funny how much he earned this. To be abandoned, forgotten. Family was for those who deserved love and support, and that wasn't him. He couldn't even call himself a twin anymore after what he'd done.

Maybe one day, if he was lucky, he'd find out that Cody was doing just fine without him, that he had gone and done something with that cooking ability. And then Zack would smile, from just out of sight. Not wanting to tarnish his brother's reputation, of course.

"Well, what do we have here?"

Zack looked up at the two unsavory characters standing over him. No reason to be afraid, he decided. What could they take that he didn't deserve to lose? Instead he just smiled at them and took an even breath, not bothering to waste any words.

However, it was at this point the piano began playing Kamelot's _Ghost Opera_, and Zack saw how serious the situation really could be. Anytime pianos start playing power metal, something's about to happen …

_Walls so white  
When your sorrows have a name  
And day is dark as night  
No remorse and no redemption_

…

Something bad was about to happen. Cody wasn't sure how he knew, but he just did. His heart knotted, his hands sweated, and the pelting rain began to give way to pure darkness. If there was ever a time to be afraid, to run and hide under a bed with Blankie, it would be now.

But he couldn't, he wouldn't.

Driven by love, and guilt, he sped up, zooming past the speed limit for the first time in his life. Dangerous, yes—illegal, even. But he pushed his conscience to the side, praying a police officer wouldn't appear to end his perfect record of safety. And even if one did…that would be okay. Cody would risk being thrown in jail and labeled a criminal if it meant finding Zack.

As he approached an intersection, his certainty increased: he was close. Maybe it was twin telepathy, or maybe it was the strange music playing that signalled a Tiger-fic. Either way, he had to turn left, and as he did, he mentally prepared himself for what he would say. He would have only one chance to make this right—or risk losing his brother forever.

But then he heard it, the music reaching a crescendo.

It was time.

_Close the door  
Can you hear the crowd is waiting?  
For the last encore  
Screaming out for my attention_

…

Zack's heart began to race, and through the rain that continued to spew from the sky, he could swear his hands were sweaty.

Especially when he saw faint glow of steel held between the figure's hand.

So, this is how it would end. Far from home, alone, forgotten. What would his funeral would be like? Would there be flowers? Would they even find his body? Would anyone even show up?

"Aren't you scared?"

Zack pondered the question. While he wasn't looking forward to the inevitable pain before dying, which his body would hate, was he actually afraid? Was death really something to be scared of?

Probably…but he couldn't be sure.

So he just shrugged his shoulders.

"You should be."

Through the relentless rain, Zack felt himself lifted off the ground and slammed into wall behind him. And through the emotional pain that had tortured him all day, he barely noticed the physical sensations.

"No struggle, come on, at least make this fun."

"What's the point?" Zack mumbled.

"What do you mean what's the point? I mean look at us," Bad Guy No.1 said. "We're clearly just here as an antagonist to you."

"Yeah, we're supposed to propel you forward to get out of your slump or whatever you're in by attempting to kill you," Bad Guy No. 2 added. "Are you really so miserable that you want to die?"

"Exactly, suicide was last chapter, after all."

"But Cody…." Zack sighed. "He probably wishes I was dead."

"Are you that dense?" one of the Bad Guys asked; I'm not sure which, not like it matters which anyway.

"He's your brother," the other one said.

"But after what I did…"

"He'll get over it. I mean, you're twins. And this is bloody fanfiction, where no matter what happens with you two, you make up, get over it, and then together overcome whatever things we throw at you. Isn't that the written-in-stone definition of a Tiger-fic?"

"You really think so?" Zack asked. Could making up really be that simple? Forgiveness shouldn't be that readily available for someone like him. Yet maybe this unnamed bad guy could be right.

"Dude," Bad Guy No. 2 said, leaning down to Zack. "I'd bet you anything that any second now Cody will rush around the corner, worried to death about you." He placed his hand on Zack's shoulder. "Trust me."

Could it be? Could Cody really be worried about him?

That made no sense whatsoever.

Cody hated him, wished he was dead, wished he'd never existed. Life would be so much easier for Cody if he were an only child, instead of stuck with someone like Zack to make a mockery of such a sacred art.

"Zack!"

But he knew that voice.

"Told ya."

_Welcome all to curtain call  
At the opera  
Raging voices in my mind  
Rise above the orchestra  
Like a crescendo of gratitude_

…

Tiger: And now for the violence.

Mary-Sue: You know, since you like surprises so much, maybe you should have a chapter, I don't know, without people trying to kill each other?

Tiger: Don't count on that happening any time soon.

Mary-Sue: *Grumbles as she walks away*

Tiger: That seemed too easy…Oh well, time for action goodness!

…

"Cody, what are you doing here?" Zack asked, happiness rushing through him. It couldn't be, how did he even find him?

"I couldn't stand to live life without you, Zack," Cody said, glancing at the two evil looking men who surrounded his brother.

"We'll see how well you do without him then," Bad Guy No. 1 said as he pulled out a knife.

"Yeah, we were kept waiting around long enough because you had to obey that speed limit. Now we're going to have some fun.

Cody's heart raced. He had to do something. But how could he fight these two alone? They were bigger than him, stronger than him. He'd never be able to help Zack, who lay crumpled on the wet pavement."Well we're going to let you stop us." Zack jumped to his feet and stood by Cody. Strangely enough, the bad guys did nothing to stop them. Though their lack of action must have been due to the fact that twins standing side by side makes for a better story.

"Hold it right there!"

All four of them turned to see breathtakingly beautiful girl glaring at them, a great fury pulsing from her body, to which clung her sopping clothes that made her amazing figure look even more amazing.

"Wow, who's the hot babe?"

"I'm Mary-Sue," she announced, "and I refuse to allow what could have been a heartwarming chapter of brotherly love to degrade into senseless violence. I mean, can't that man write something without someone getting hurt?"

…

Tiger: Hm…well that just won't do. Pedro, restrain her!

Pedro: I thought you'd never ask.

…

And in what could only be described as a killer penguin doing a cannon ball from the nearest roof flying into the scene, Pedro joined the fray. Swinging his katana, he forced Mary to jump back.

"I would suggest not resisting, but I don't think that would be nearly as fun," Pedro said as a smile curved across his beak.

Hm…can penguins actually smile? Well killer penguins can at least!

As the camera pans away from the twins, an epic class battle rages between a killer penguin and a rabid fan girl on the wet city streets. I really don't know which one is scarier.

"Well now that she's busy, are you ready to get to the part where we try to kill you and you to team up to save each other because that's what brothers do?" Bad Guy No. 2 asked.

Zack shrugged "Why not, it's not like we got anything better to do?"

With that, the two thugs rushed at him.

However, being singled-minded thugs, they completely forgot Cody was there too. And despite the fact that Cody was never one to hurt others or to possess significant physical strength, he delivered a punch to the back of the one guy's head, knocking him to the ground. But the guy got up, much angrier, and much scarier this time.

"Oh, so that's the way you want to play." He ran at Cody and swung his very pointy knife at him, nicking the side of Cody's shoulder. As Cody flinched at the blood, the bad guy took the opportunity to close in and yanked Cody by the scruff of his neck.

Zack rushed to help his brother, but the other bad guy blocked his path.

"If you want to get to him you have to get through me."

"That was my favorite dress!" Mary shrieked.

"Eat my fireworks! Eat them! They're bacon flavored."

Following this noisy distraction, coupled with a light show that would make the sun look like a dim light bulb, we return to the important story.

Zack wasn't fazed. No, not in the least. He ran at the bad guy, knowing he'd have to time this perfectly. He jumped in the air, as if he was about to land a flying punch at the guy's face. But instead he dropped to the ground and darted behind his foe's legs.

And then with a flying kick of pain, Zack freed his brother.

"Wow, I never thought that would work quite like that," he said.

"You mean attempting to do a flying leaping kick, missing terribly, and getting your head stuck in a trash can, which causes the bad guy to laugh so much he drops me?"

"Yeah, something like that. Now get this thing off me!"

And with Zack's head freed, they still had these pesky foes to deal with.

"We can't take them one on one," Zack said.

"So what do you suggest?" Cody asked, knowing how right his brother was.

"Well, if I've learned anything from anime it's that friendship and love will light the way out of the darkest night."

Cody stared at him. "Does this look like an anime to you?"

"No, but this is a Tiger-fic, and I know he watches too much anime."

In a complete and total non-anime-but-similar action, a ball of light descended from the sky, its glow banishing the rain and lighting the area like the dawn of a new day.

It hovered between the twins, and they looked at each other. And then they touched it, feeling the power from the orb of shininess course through their bodies.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Cody asked.

"That Chihuahuas have freakishly large ears?" Zack guessed.

"Exactly."

In a swift motion that not even the fastest motion of cameras could follow, the two bad guys were turned into small yappy dogs that could no longer harm anyone.

"Wow, this thingy is awesome," Zack said, mesmerized by what the orb of flashy shininess could do.

"Give me that." Mary snatched the orb and absorbed it. "Now that I have my Sue powers back, I can get past Pedro and stop you two from being forced to partake in senseless violence."

"So that's what that was," Cody said.

"Yep, gives me the power to resist the laws of nature, the laws of fashion, and even Tiger's author powers from time to time."

"Well we already beat them, so it's kind of too late," Zack said.

"I see then." Mary slunk away, defeated and a mess, but still every bit as stunning.

"So time to head back home?" Cody asked as he and Zack hurried through what had been the streets of New York before Pedro and Mary had their fun.

"I guess so."

Luckily, and for the sake of the story, Cody found the car unharmed where he'd left it a couple blocks away.

As they pulled around the corner, guilt kept nagging at them. Even after all they had been through, all the trials they had faced, they still couldn't ignore what had separated them in the first place. And upon each seeing the love of his brother, to stand beside him through all the strife and turmoil, both Zack and Cody knew there was only one thing they could do.

"I'm sorry!" they shouted in a single voice as the car found its way onto the highway.

"What are you sorry for, Cody?" Zack asked, helpless against the tears leaking from his eyes. "I'm the one who was a complete failure when I tried to cook your sautéed chicken recipe. How could you even bear to be in the same world as someone who would dare desecrate your sacred art in such a way?"

"Wait, you're sorry? I'm the one who needs to apologize." Cody began to babble. "After all your hard work, of actually taking the time to see how something other than the microwave works, what gave me the right to criticize you, to tell you that you'd used a little too much salt? I never meant to hurt you, but my acid tongue took hold, and well, I'm just so, so sorry."

"Yes, but I was the fool who confused the tablespoon with the teaspoon. After all the care you put into it, I just rushed around, wrecking a recipe you spent so much time to perfect."

"Not at all. Zacky, I was so scared that I'd never see you again. You're my best friend and I couldn't bear the thought of losing you."

"Same here, Codes. Thank you for coming all the way to help me. You're the best brother I could ask for."

Cody smiled through his own tears. "Zack, I love you enough to go to the ends of the earth to find you. You're my brother after all."

"I love you too. Now come here and let's end this chapter on a big old hug."

And the two of them embraced, each other's warmth banishing the cold of the night and the light of their love chasing away the darkness of their regrets. For in this exchange that strangely resembled two gay lovers professing their feelings for one another, the twins saw that their bond was a force that could weather the fiercest storm.

…

Mary-Sue: Couldn't you have just skipped all that action and gotten to the love at the end there?"

Tiger: Nope, it wouldn't be nearly as fun."

Mary-Sue: I guess so, but did you really have to wait so long to post this?

Tiger: Well I was busy with NaNoWriMo, so couldn't really get to this, and I'm really grateful that Ellie was still able to beta this despite the fact she partook in the same challenge.

Mary-Sue: That's a decent enough reason I suppose, I mean, writing fifty-thousand words in a month of a new original story must take a bit of work.

Tiger: Yep, and with any luck I can finish writing it within a few more weeks.

Mary-Sue: So don't expect any more updates anytime soon?

Tiger: Pretty much


	9. Chapter 9: Pure Evil

Tiger: Ah, so are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Mary-Sue: Does it involve dipping my sister into an active volcano?

Tiger: No, but I'll put that on my list of ideas.

Mary-Sue: Well, how about doing a parody about villains. I mean, we see them all the time, but what really makes a villain tick? Exploring the darker side of the eternal conflict between good and evil.

Tiger: Wow, I really like that. I mean, who doesn't get drawn into a well-developed villain?

Mary-Sue: Well, to quote the great author, the-lovely-anomaly "teeny-boppers who specialize in Mary Sues and Gary Stus"

Tiger: Let's do it then!

…

A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away an epic tale of Jedi's and family conflicts that got really out of hand took place. There was romance, there was action, and there was probably some comedy and tragedy and that kind of stuff to; but since I fell asleep during that part, we won't be talking about that story. Instead, we'll focus on a much closer story, one that touches into the hearts of every boy and girl to ever walk the streets of this great country. For no matter where they go, whether they be rich or poor, smart or dumb, school lies in all of their destinies.

For some they loathed it, some they put up with it, and for the geeks and nerds out there, they might even enjoy it, but even the greatest of teacher's pets would run should they encounter "The One".

"The One" was etched into the fears of every kid who set foot into the building. While some teachers came to spread their joy of learning, some came to guide their students into adult hood, and few others who strived to relive their childhood through the lives of the kids, "The One" was none of these things. No one knew where she came from, not even the principle. No, indeed she predated all of the staff, all of the students, and even their ancestors. Legends tell of her terrible classes from even before the dawn of modern civilization.

She was none other than Ms. Alexis Thomson, professor of 11th grade English, or so she demanded to be called. And on this day, two unfortunate souls found their way into her classroom, hoping that the legends were just that.

"Dude, this could be bad," Cody said.

"What makes you say that?" Zack asked, taking his seat, pulling out his pillow, and hoping the lecture wouldn't interfere with his dreams.

"Well, the walls are all bare, all the other students are shaking, and I just know this class is going to ruin my 4.0 GPA."

"You worry too much bro," Zack said waiting for the bell to ring.

This didn't alleviate Cody's fears any. But why would they, Zack was always carefree, and here he was, trapped in the belly of the beast for the next 50 minutes, hoping that the rumors were just lies made up by the upperclassmen.

She marched into the room, slamming the door behind her, and not a student dared make a sound, not even their breath could be heard as she took her place in the front of the room, the white board perfectly clean, and she picked up a marker, ready to get to work. Even Zack couldn't help but pay attention, fear drove him, and from the wrinkles on her brow to her short grey hair and overly professional dress, Zack knew this was not one to mess with.

"Good morning class," she said, but was only greeted with silence. She knew the rules of teaching, how in order to instruct these students they must be wrapped with fear, and only then could the desired learning come across. "I said 'Good morning class.'"

"Good morning," they said, their voices quaking in fear. Cody swallowed hard, willing to stay focused. He had endured 10th grade honors history, Mr. Bagwell's pre-calc class, and came through both of those with an A. This would be no different. Maybe a different subject, maybe a different year, but even the toughest teachers had to have some pattern, some formula to getting on their good side.

"We shall start the class today with a pop quiz. Please, take out a sheet of paper and put your name on it."

In any other case, students would have protested, saying that this wasn't fair because it was only the first day of class, but upon any opening of their mouth, a glare from the teacher stole any desire to speak.

"There is only one problem today. Analyze in as much depth as possible the religious symbolism in the Grapes of Wrath. Focus primarily thought not exclusively on the flood, the fall and exile from Eden, and the eschatological themes of the Book of Revelation."

Cody took a deep sigh as the rest of the class began panicking around him. Some wrote, but many of them were at a loss for words. He looked to his brother who appeared to be drawing something. But Cody tried not to think of everything going on around them. It had been nearly two years since he read Steinbeck's classic, so he had forgotten much. The flood part was simple, that was Noah staying behind to avoid the coming disaster. Cody began writing, illustrating the irony of water being his salvation. But as he got further, he found himself having to make further leaps of logic, though soon he had a page filled.

"Class, the time is up, please turn in your papers for grading."

Lightning shook the skyline outside the gloom filled window. If the class wasn't so terrified of the teacher, they would have remembered that it was bright and sunny when they had entered.

With the papers turned in, the class waited as Ms. Thompsen went through the papers, her speed with the red pen unparalleled as she graded at breakneck speeds. With one hand she stroked the fur of a black cat that sat on her lap while the other tore through the student's hard work.

"Zack Martin!" she yelled.

"Yes ma'am?" he asked as the entire class paused in shock and fear for their comrade in learning.

"What is this?" she held up the drawings that he turned in, an even greater scowl of disapproval across her face than before.

"Well, I hadn't heard of the book before, but when I heard the title I thought of grapes stabbing people, and since I remember the Book of Revelation being about the end of the world from those movies, I drew monster grapes bringing about the end of the world."

"Your artistic talent is admirable and I must say this is creative."

"Thank you," Zack said not believing that he was getting a compliment from the most evil woman to visit the school.

"I hate creativity. F!... Minus!"

"Well that's about my average," Zack said with a sigh, figuring that this was far from his last F from this teacher.

She continued going through the papers, mumbling F's under her breath but loud enough for the students to hear so they knew of what hope they had of getting off to a good start had been vanquished. "What's this?" She gave a small chuckle. "Cody Martin, I see you are a step above the others here." She looked up from her desk and stared at Cody for a second. "Your quiz indicates a level of intelligence higher than a toaster, and your knowledge of grammar makes your paper easily readable."

"Thank you?" Cody asked, sure that she was going to shoot him down just like she did Zack.

"You think you're smart because you happen to have a decent memory, and can add 2 and 2 when reading literature, don't you?"

"Um, well-"

"Save it young man, that was a rhetorical question. And for those hear who don't know what that means, which I'm sure is all of you, that means that it's a question that's not meant to be answered.

"Now, where was I? Oh right, Cody. You think you're a genius, one who can use his mind to just get through everything with a little bit of work? Well, I have news for you; my class won't be like that. I'm tired of the school system thinking that they can let everyone slip by, so my class won't be so easy. You will leave here with an education, and not just some sparknote version of it. Understood?"

The classed nodded, Cody especially.

"Oh, by the way. D."

…

Weeks turned into months as the class wore on. Much of the class grew used to the constant failing. It wasn't as if it was a choice, even the smart among them were powerless at the demanding and oftentimes random questions. It was as if she knew their one weakness, and poked at it with a jackhammer.

Cody was resting at home one morning, his mind wound with the details surrounding the play Oedipus. If he was right, their quiz would be on that today. He had found his way into the pattern, and one time the week before he even managed a B.

"Cody, wake up, we're going to be late!" Zack yelled jolting Cody from his slumber.

"Oh Zack," Cody said rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "I had a horrible dream. We had the worst English teacher ever and I was going to fail because of how hard it was."

"Dude, that wasn't a dream, and the final is today!"

"What!" Cody yelled jumping back up, seeing that all hope was lost. He was barely ready for the quiz, and he remembered how the exam had destroyed so many in previous years. "I'm going to fail, going to get kicked out of school and then end up working for the lowest possible pay as a pizza parlor's slave."

"I'm sure you'll do fine. It's only a test."

Cody glared at Zack with a ferocity that only Ms Thomson could surpass.

"Yeah, you're right. You're screwed."

…

**Mary-Sue: **Okay, there has been no mention of action, fantasy or violence. Now we can just end this with the brotherly bond here as we uncover the truth about villains.

**Tiger: **Oh, it's not a parody without something blowing up, is it?

**Mary-Sue:** I had to say something, didn't I?

**Tiger: ***Grin*

…

Cody took his seat, got out his number two pencils. Fear shook his very being. His courage began fading. If there was ever a time for a killer penguin to burst into the school and start a riot, it would be now.

But no such luck, only an immense packet dropped on his desk, the words filling it more complex than anything he had seen before. "You have one hour."

Sweat began pouring over his brow. Much of the class gave up in a matter of seconds, knowing they were going to fail. But not Cody, he just kept going, question after question he tried answering, drawing into the crevices of his memory, of everything he had read, of each piece of culture he had learned about. It was all key here, the most obscure information, his only hope of overcoming this villain.

"Pathetic, giving up already?" she said scanning the crowd; two thirds had fallen already, given up. It was only a matter of time until the rest joined them.

Zack was among those who knew he had no hope. There wasn't anyway he could get a single question right. But there was still Cody. Whose brain might be the only thing that could counter such a vile women. But Zack saw the pain and frustration on his brother's face, the way his pencil kept turning over, erasing what he wrote. He knew he had to do something. But Cody would never cheat. Still, the test wasn't even fair. He was pretty sure half of it was in Hebrew or Chinese. That would mean only one thing. He'd have to take over where his brother couldn't.

And after getting an average of an 8% for the class, he didn't have much to lose.

He pulled out his phone, knowing it would be confiscated in a matter of seconds. But that would be all he needed if he could type fast enough. Scrolling through his contacts, he found Max and in a moment typed the message. _'Plan F'_

"Zack, I will confiscate your phone now."

With fingers trained from years of video games he went through the options, deleting the message, knowing that he had to clear himself from suspicion if he was going to give Cody the opening that he needed. He didn't even see her swipe the phone from his hand as she went through the messages with the girl that he still had up.

"You two won't last three weeks," Ms. Thompson said returning to desk and her pet cat Mr. Fluffels.

Zack could only wait for his plan to take effect, and hope that his brother's brain would hold out long enough.

The seconds drifted by ever so slow, and not even the joy that the class was almost over could bring Cody out of his slump. Each question was harder than the last, each problem probing him deeper that not even his studying could find answers or even an explanation to what the question meant. Cody hoped that maybe he'd find a way, catch a break, but it never seemed to come.

Finally, an ear splitting sound echoed throughout the room, the high-pitched ringing startling the students.

"The fire alarm?" one of them said, whose brain was still partly functioning.

"Single file, out to the front lawn. Let's go," Ms. Thompson said, her voice unshaken by this turn of events. Zack knew he had to time it right, that even with the unexpected she wasn't shaken in the least. He'd need to find an opening to escape, to execute his plan. Sure, the school would be empty until someone learned the truth, but evil incarnate had the eyes of a hawk.

Zack spotted Max across the way, and made eye contact with her, begging for her help once more. She knew how desperate Zack was to help his brother, and that he was under careful surveillance already. She nodded, knowing that the consequence could be unbearable, but nevertheless, she wouldn't let Cody go down without a fair fight.

"Hey how's it going?" Max asked casually walking up to the class.

"Eh, just a dumb fire alarm it looks like," Zack said with a shrug of his shoulders. However, as Max walked away, back to her own class, a small metallic object dropped from her hand into the grass. Zack saw this, but immediately focused his eyes back to the school, wanting to act as oblivious as possible until the end.

Finally, the two-minute timer passed, though it was almost too late as he was sure they'd be forced back in, and back to the test soon. Smoke began blowing out from the ground, and with that cover, Zack burst from them, back into the school, unseen by his teacher. That gave him the chance he needed to make it to the room. He pulled out his lock pick from his pocket and flung the door open. He went to Cody's desk; saw that he was only about a third of the way through the test. Good, that would give him the chance he needed to fix this.

"Zachary Martin, what are you doing?" she said, causing him to freeze. But dropping the stapler into his backpack, he knew that he had made it in time.

"Sorry teach, just wanted to get my cellphone out of here before the fire got to it."

"There is no fire. Apparently some kid hit the alarm coming back from lunch. Anyway, return to your tests, you have about 10 minutes to finish it."

As Cody sat beside Zack, his body shaking, his hair frazzled, Zack looked to his twin. "I believe in you. If anyone can get through this class with a decent grade, it's you."

Cody smiled and nodded, feeling just a little bit calmer now.

"Let's do this," he said to himself as he turned the page, and saw a problem he recognized.

'Identify the passive sentences.'

This was simple, easy even. One page down, and then another. Every question came to him like he'd seen it a hundred times before. The letters were circled, the words underlined, and with two minutes left in the class, Cody turned in a completed answer sheet.

"Finished?" she chuckled.

"Yes."

"Let's see how you did, shall we?"

"Be my guest," Cody said with confidence unlike anything he had felt since entering the classroom.

Ms. Thomson went through the first page, red marks adorning it. "23 percent on the first page. Best in the class," she said with a wicked grin. Two more pages followed like it, answers marked wrong, red lines drawn, similar low numbers adorning the bottom of the page for the total.

However, when she reached the fourth page, she saw the unthinkable as she scanned the questions and answers. Not a single one was wrong. She went back again, checking it over, wondering how he could see through her trickery.

Then she saw it.

The questions were those she'd never remembered typing. They weren't hers. But the test was, or seemed to be. And with the bell ringing, she had no time left to adjust it. She had to grade what was there, and page after page revealed the same. Easy questions, flawless answers. She had to admit it, she wasn't quite sure how, but at the end, she had to mark on the front of the test, the letter A.

"It can't be," she said beginning to cry, something Zack and Cody found quite strange.

"What's wrong?" Cody asked, the only one in the world who could feel compassion on such a terror.

She looked up at the twins and thought of her past.

"A hundred years ago, I was just like you Cody. Smart, bright, the world of joy in front of me. But then came that English class, and well, I failed it. My father told me I was useless, that I'd never become anything. You see he was an English professor at Yale, Harvard, Oxford and Neptune, so he had high standards. He didn't want to have anything to do with me, so I poured my heart into my studies, hoping I could earn back his love. But it never worked, so I wanted to show him that no one could surpass my knowledge. That's why I became a teacher, so I could show I was the best, that no one present or future could surpass my knowledge."

"That's terrible," Cody said.

"Yeah, just because your dad didn't love you didn't mean you could take it out on all of us. Wouldn't it be better to show your father that you know so much by giving that knowledge to the students? Become a better teacher than your father?"

She looked up at Zack and saw the truth.

"Or just forget about him and move on," Zack said with a shrug.

On that day a light was opened in her dark heart, the way of truth drowning all despair. "Thank you Cody and Zack. You have shown me that there isn't just one way to prove ones worth. That even at my own game you have beaten me. Now I shall spread life and joy, make this the greatest class ever."

"Awesome, I look forward to it next year when I have to repeat it," Zack said with a laugh and they all lived happily ever after.

…

**Mary-Sue: **See, you don't need violence to make a good story.

**Tiger: **I should probably go back and do some editing then…This doesn't seem as random or comical as most of mine.

**Mary-Sue**: Still, randomly making the hated villain likeable at the end seems to happen a lot. Besdies, with exams coming up tomorrow and wanted to update all your stories tonight, you don't have much time.

**Tiger: **True, and I did manage to update all my stories today. Thanks to Wyntirsno for her unbeatable speed in betaing.


End file.
